I'm going to see if any of the ladies here (at this supermarket) will be my valentine for 90 minutes.

I always keep my kids close to me because, well, they're still in my balls.

Remember when musical acts shut the hell up so you'd miss them, instead of rolling your eyes at the mention of them? Yeah, good times...

Stalking? No. Targeted, mobile buttocks admiration...yes.

Last few minutes to get your once a year Valentine's Day anal from your woman. Hurry. I already had some from your woman. You're a lucky man!

I will NEVER change who I am for YOUR approval. NEVER. You know who you are.