Chitlins? Are you crazy? Slavery is over. I don't have to eat that crap because "The Man" says so! Well, gotta eat my Monsanto salad now.

The Mascots from pro sports teams eat children. Now you know... but what are you going to do!?!

"Snooki is pregnant?" - me pretending to give a shit

Mormons have just circumcised my dead grandpa....is that even one of their things? What's up with that!?!

I need to start getting drunk. I don't want people to know that I'm perfectly okay streaking with pasties on my "man stuff".

My gay friends got married. Guess what, things DID change homophobes, two good people are exponentially happier...and that's a good thing.

When two people that used to be on a good show, get together on a new bad show, it's not a reunion. It's just a reminder of what a hunk of shit the new show is.

Dear Santa, I want a 50+ year happy marriage to a woman like THIS. (Clair Huxtable)

Thanks in advance,

S. Anthony