Politicians would sound LESS crazy if they didn't have to pander to the idiot extremists of their parties. But they would still be a-holes.

Hey, Christine O'Donnell, do you have the time? Where are you going? Come back! Do you run away from EVERY question now?

I'm buying GOLD! I'd rather have an abundant metal with a randomly assessed value that inked paper with a randomly assessed value! Yeah!

Perry To Obama: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Americans to Perry: Aren't you a f*cking secessionist?

Breaking news! The Moon is 200 million years younger than we thought. Take that haters! I told you that the moon didn't have botox!

Ex or failed politicians on news shows who try to convince us that their opinions are unbiased....hahahahahahaha! Sorry, I'm NOT a moron.

Sarah Palin is just an anti Obama jack in the box now.

Aw man, ALL of the "veiled racist comment dog whistles" are sold out. It must be election time.

"He's Black! He's Black! He's Black! He's Black! He's Black!" - I'm writing a spec stump speech for the Presidential candidates.

Science...BAD! *applause* Yeah, I'm ready to run for President.

Dear ANYONE in ANY type of relationship with me. If I can't trust you, our relationship is WORTHLESS. And OVER. You have been warned.

Media, instead of slamming the President for vacationing, slam yourselves for vacationing from REAL reporting, that's been going on longer.