It's only stalking if you get caught. Oh shit here she comes! *ducks behind trash can*

I’d make love to my local dollar store but it won’t take my calls. It saw me at Walmart. But I wasn’t there, I was just in the lot! Honest!

I can't wait until I'm famous so I can do expensive shows for crazy world leaders and bring that money back to the USA! USA! Also, hookers.

We're NOT widgets, checkers or toys. We're people! Treat us with respect DC! *wins lottery* What tax returns? Asking me that is Un-American!

I'm going to buy some $300 sneakers because I want to know what it feels like to be a douche bag.