"These NFL replacement refs are doing a GREAT job!"
- Mitt Romney (while trying to roll down the windows on his plane)

"The MOST interesting man in the world" just told ME I was REALLY interesting! I think...I fell asleep while he was talking to me...

Police DON'T think it's funny when you put "Boots" on THEIR cars, apparently. Also, fat cops CANNOT outrun me. I mean...the guy who did it.

Tongue showers? No. Tongue baths? No. I give tongue Jacuzzis baby!!!!!!! I'm the MAN!!!!

I love women with big butts because I like to hear the sound of applause while I'm having sex.

If a tree falls in the forest, and NOBODY hears it...is it then okay to have public sex with your girlfriend the screamer?

I enjoy women's left breast more. They seem to taste better.

Ever try to "kill someone softly with a song"? Bull, I've killed plenty of people with songs...and that shit is LOUD!

While everyone here screams about the replacement refs, I sit here writing an angry letter to my 9 year old cousin for not fixing my car.