Monday, September 24, 2012

Did you say "Celibate" or "Selling butt"? I want to know if I should be annoyed or heading to the ATM.

Dear cute white lady with the big ass new to my old neighborhood, call your dad NOW to tell him about the black baby you'll be having soon.

"Yes, I do sometimes pass as white."
- ME talking to blind people

"Sugar", it's over. Sorry, I'm with "healthy eating" now. Sure, you were great, but "healthy eating" let's me put it in her butt. Huh?

Dear "rolling stop" guy, looking at you I can tell that you AND wherever you're going have something in common. Neither is THAT important.

No matter how good your meat loaf is, it's not as good as the one I made yesterday. Secret ingredient....meth. Just kidding. It was crack.

Breaking fake news! Romney releases 10 years of tax returns and as it turns out he’s OWED 40 billion dollars. Film at 11!
"Breaking Bad"

A) Hit show

B) What happens to the bed after good S. Anthony lovin'

C) I've been awake too long and have started to lose it

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