I was walking down the street with my camera and some delegates started throwing peanuts at me. What does that mean? WHAT!?! *kicks ass*

I just threw MY nuts at a lady at the convention...she didn't seem to mind.

If only women knew what we were thinking when we look at their boobs. We're thinking "I want to have sex with her!" Ya'll KNEW that? Oh.

"It's only CALLED "eating" stupid!"
- ER doctor to stupid boyfriend after "sex accident" with soon to be ex girlfriend

*on the phone with one of my gay Republican friends*...hold on, I can't hear you, I'm at a Klan rally helping them put a cross on my lawn.

This GOP convention is similar to a porno set.... a whole lot of fluffing, THEN the big dick comes out.

Breaking news! Obama to bring out Bruce Lee as mystery speaker at DNC Convention! Yeah, he's THAT good!

"Wave your hands in the air, show the elderly you just don't care!"
- Hip hop RNC REMIX

Light skin, dark skin, I don't care, I just want IN! Take THAT Shakespeare!

President Obama is going to bring out David Duke to try to steal some of the racist vote from Romney. Check and Mate!