Why is everyone going so crazy about the Genetically altered foods? So what?
*Gets in shower and washes newly developed prehensile tail*

"I just took a shit that looks like Glenn Beck."
-Barack Obama (should have said)

I'm tired of having to change my life to accommodate assholes.

Who's Vice Pope? I mean, Is THAT job still open?

When push comes to shove....I have an orgasm and then go to sleep.

When a TSA agent is patting you down...DON'T grab the back of their heads, thrust forward and say "Yeah, take it ALL!" Also, tasers hurt.

To hell with doing it after I'm dead! Appreciate my ass NOW!