"Do you fools know how much money you owe? You'd better take ANY job you can get!"

- S. Anthony gives a commencement address

I've decided AGAINST the ball reduction. I'm so awesome...they'd just grow again.

The ONLY thing BETTER than chocolate pudding is chocolate pudding on the titties of the one you love. Or a cheese steak on 'em #phillyraised

Dear dopeboy laughing at the "corny" guy going to his "square" job, he'll have a 30th birthday party....you WON'T. Jokes on YOU moron.


Please Kanye....block that smoke stack in Rome...Pleeeeeze.....

If I was eating spaghetti and it slapped ME...I'd kick it's ass. I'm no wimp like those people in the Tums commercial. #toughguy

Rock cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock smashes scissors, Adulthood beats using this game to make decisions.


The "truth" will set you free! Yeah, I call mine "The truth". Also, "Mr Happy Meat".
STOP LAUGHING AT ME! Oh, wait...that was the idea...