Me: This soccer game is great!

My friend: Yeah, I stopped playing because I couldn't keep taking all those balls in the face.

Me: (Guess)

**********

Why hate another person's success? Just wait for it to all crash down on them...THEN laugh at the *bastid! (*bastard with East Coast accent)

Nothing tastes better than your woman after a shower. Yeah, YOUR woman.

Dear extremist congressmen, show me on the congressional page's genitals what you won't admit to wanting to do to the other page's genitals.