Remember all of those jokes I've told about not giving a shit anymore? Well...I really mean it now.

Did you know that they keep oranges in little cages so they can't move just so their muscles stay soft, and then kill them so the meat is....huh? That's veal? Oh, so I guess I should call off the protest outside of the Tropicana plant huh?

Kissin' cousins, meet "Watchin', recordin' and sellin' the film to people who will then be masturbatin' neighbor" who'll be profitin'

How is THAT guy called a BOUNCER when everyone he's thrown down the steps here has just gone splat? FALSE ADVERTISING!

People not giving a crap has never stopped me before...and thus I continue my quest to become...the NEW Lord of the DANCE!!!!!

One of my testicles is higher than the other. I guess it bought better weed.

If a smoking hot woman asks to buy you a drink in a nightclub...she wants your kidney and your credit card numbers, okay? You're welcome.

I know that you put your finger in my drink waitress. Wait until you find out what I did to your tip money...

"I love to push through boundaries!" - Guy who likes getting his ass whipped by riot police