Microsoft acquires for 2 billion dollars the advertising rights to the exposed body parts of extremely attractive people. Film at 11!

MY recycle people are now in the lead for the 2011 recycle bin smashing championship. Yeah, MINE. I know you're jealous! Deal with it!

Microsoft just bought my cousin's lemonade stand. Freaking showoffs. Now I have to wait 30 minutes for my 4 teaspoons of sugar to download.

It's also neighborly to know when you should shut the hell up.

Corporations have finally figured out how to manufacture "Viral" videos. Guess they got tired of just f-ing up TV, movies, music...

Possessing pictures of your hot neighbor taken from the P.O.V. of her closet, DISQUALIFIES you from the town watch. Ironic, huh?

They called Common a "Vile" rapper. Wait until they find out that Dr Dre is the new surgeon General.

Rapper reading poetry to kids, VILE. Billionaires making it hard to feed kids by buying anti-union politicians, OK. *writing that down*