I'm going to start a movement to make adult diapers cool. Yeah, I'm THAT good.

I don't brush my teeth counterclockwise, I brush them counterintuitively...my eyes hurt.

Women...your ass + stretch marks = me seeing your nude ass = me very happy = you even happier. Now...enough talking....

"Dear flies, you will stick to fly paper and die. Don't do that, we want to eat you." - Bigger insects

Okay Newt, I get it. Your campaign is just a live, real world version of "The Producers". Well played Andy Kaufman 2.0, well played...