Hey, guy constantly complaining about his wife, I hate her more than you do. She's apparently turned you into a whining loser. STFU!

Pretending to care is HARD work, but CHEAPER than moving...so I'll stick with this pretending crap. But when I'm rich, WATCH OUT!!!

I accidently tripped my cousin (a black guy) and shot to the number two position in the latest straw poll.

My New Years resolution is (near the end of the year insert completed tasks so I can retroactively get credit and an unearned ego boost)

I'm BURNING ALL of MY old newsletters. You won't get ME ya bastids! Those pics of me in scooby doo drawers will REMAIN a secret! Oh crap...

"I'm changing the voting rules because I'm a lying racist...what? Who put the Sodium Pentothal in my coffee!?!" - Asshole Governors

Anyone else with Facebook TIMELINE getting wall posts from dead relatives? Weird. I deactivated THAT app....