Friday, December 16, 2011

I'm coming out with a clothing line called "Keeping my career afloat until I'm relevant again" Yes, It will be sold at Walmart.

I have NEVER had a Krispy Kreme donut. Yes, I am stronger than YOU. Also, none are close to me.

I am a horrible negotiator. I can go from "Let's talk" to "Fuck you, fuck this, bye!" two seconds after you stop being honest or fair.

I have some friends who are "Model/Pretty boy" types and although I'm sure that they didn't mean to be insulting (sarcasm)....they were confused by the fact that MORE women wanted me than them. They dated more "Model types", but I was approached by more women in general. I explained:  I have never been handsome, I am not handsome now and I will never be handsome...

   ...but I am CUTE.  

When you get a wrinkle, gain five pounds or a have an're "Losing it".  When that happens to me, I get more "cuddly and masculine". Yeah. You get laid more quickly, but I can get laid more often. SUCK IT! Hahhahahaha! I then assured them that I also did not mean to be insulting.

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