I just got Maury's wife pregnant. THAT show is going to be AWESOME! Maury...I AM the FATHER!

Who wants to buy a tape of Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain fucking? If you said yes...you...need...help. You...are...sick.

The White House will NOT veto National Defense Authorization Act. W...T...F? Does anyone else hear conspiracy theorists laughing at us?

I'm NOT a lying, power hungry whore, so no DC, you DON'T represent ME. FYI, when you start detaining citizens know that I was just kidding.

Christine O'donnell endorses Romney. Makes sense, she's a WITCH and he can't decide WHICH Romney to be.