Randomness...

We need to relabel things to emphasize how dangerous they are. Cute names and euphemisms hide the truth. So...lets begin. High Fructose Corn syrup= Ass widener. Alcohol= Car crash juice. Etc.

"Mount Rushmore" shouldn't be taken literally. Sorry for what you had to see tourists. Also..my date says "please delete the photos".

I don't have a milk mustache, I have a milk afro. Talk about clumsy!

I want the police to taser annoying people. Here are some suggestions. Any dude over 21 that watches 90210 or that type of show, anyone that uses the word "wigger", people that celebrate their team winning by breaking someone's property, people who have super loud personal conversations in a confined area on their cellphones (Lady, I don't want to know that much about your pap test).

Blunts may be the right idea. Tobacco to give you cancer and weed to help with the side effects of the chemotherapy when you get it!