Randomness...

Reality TV is for lazy voyeurs. C'mon, buy a ladder. Get some binoculars. Drill a hole. Follow somebody. Don't be a lazy ass!

I ran out of clay pigeons while skeet shooting...anyone got any extra narcissists laying around? (FYI, Homeland security...I'm joking Okay!)

I would love to be a ref in pro sports....ah, to be that wrong so often and still get paid...

Signs in stores say..."No shoes, No shirt, No service." They don't ever say anything about "No Pants". They should. They really should.

When a woman says that she is "anal"...clarify. It will save you embarrassment, a restraining order and running from her black belt brother.