If a person wraps their couch in plastic, pee on it.

I wait until a fly gets caught in a glue trap...then I trash talk it until it dies...
DON'T...FUCK...WITH...ME!

Obama...blamed for Katrina....no, not delusional or racist at all. Nope. C'mon, people, melanin isn't scary...c'mon, touch it. See?

"Ben Affleck as Batman? Bwahahahahahahahahaha!"
- Spider-man

You STILL watch DVD's? What are you 100?
- Teen about to get beaten up by an adult

Yeah, dude you DO look cooler pushing the baby stroller by one handle only. Hey, why don't you put on sunglasses too? Yeah...cool.

Ladies, you're not the only ones that like booty rubs.