Great, NOW I have to add sound to my fake laughs when my grandpa tells lame ass jokes! Thanks Miracle Ear!

"I don't do Windows."

- Everybody in my family that owns a computer

Your kid's ass stinks, no need to smell it. Also, she's 24.

Imagining people's cars exploding in front of you does make traffic jams go by quicker....I'm told...

Monday just touched my ass. I liked it. I'm going to ask for it's phone number...

Grandma's era: Lynchings
Mom's era: Civil rights movement
My era: Barack Obama President
My future kids era: ???

Dear racists, fuck you.