Cut off MY ear to impress a woman? No. I did however make a wonderful desk gnome out of ear wax for a lady.
...yeah, got the drawers.
She was on the phone laughing with friends...you came home with lipstick on your cheek...she saw it...
*sees kid in baby stroller*
"Damn, you need to screw better looking people! Look at that ugly little..."
*wakes up in ER*
The NSA just broke into my phone call and screamed ."Get to the point already!" To be fair, that guy was rambling a bit