Don't call your testicles "Baby baskets" on a first date.

If you DON'T dip your chocolate chip cookies in milk....I can't trust you. You're like the dealer that won't smoke weed...NARC!!!!!!!

Until you get out of the barrel, you don't realize that you used to be a crab. Speaking of crabs, did your sister get hers taken care of?

I defeat my enemies when I make them friends - The Dalai Lama
Crush the bastards! They shouldn't have screwed with me! - The S. Anthony

I'm not afraid of the "Friend zone". I usually get to date the friends of the friend...so....friend zone away. YOUR friends will thank YOU.

Google now just told me "Not now!". It changed it's mind when I started to hold it close to the "Old cellphone box".

I run THIS!

Women taste better when they're happy.

Women like to be licked awake...but not on the bus...or if they don't know you...or if they're riding home from Krav Maga class....

Dear guys STILL selling bootleg DVD's at the barber shop....you don't have a computer at home...do you?