"Where am I!?!"
- John McCain looking frantically through a "PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL RELEVANT" guide


Whoa, whoa whoa.... I will NOT listen anymore to people who accuse this congress of being bigoted! Why? Because I know that shit already!

Just found an old bottle of Hai Karate in my uncles closet, he said I could have it and.....whoa, ladies! DON'T get naked HERE!

My sister was going to call in a vote to Dancing with the Stars, but Scott Walker slapped the phone out of her hand.