I don't want to go cold turkey on political ads. I'm going to have friends come to my house every 30 seconds and lie to me about things.

Breaking! Obama slaps Trump in his hair hat with his College transcript while heading to the stage to savor his VICTORY. Film at 11!

GM is alive, Bin Laden is dead, the President is STILL black and Donald Trump is a senior citizen acting like a spoiled child.

That moment when you realize that the lady you're talking to REALLY thinks your name is "ME DEEPUPINYA"

"Oh yeah, well I don't have money in the Caymans...I bought them! That's why you found nothing! Screw all of you!"
-Mitt gets real

Um, people who Facebook unfriend me because you started a political argument and lost because I have facts, THEN try to refriend me... NO.

'I Just Cannot Believe That The Majority Of Americans' Voted Obama
- Sarah Palin

"A BIGGER majority think you're an idiot"
- S. Anthony

A guy tried to mug me WITHOUT A WEAPON. I laughed at him. He walked away embarrassed. *True Story*