I remember something my grandpa said before he died. He'd leave the bathroom and say "I feel lighter now!" That's when we shot him.

How small do your testicles have to be to troll the amazon.com product review page? Need attention THAT much? #micronuts #losers

Dear female beach volleyball players, you are brilliant and impressive athletes....also, please marry and make babies with me.

Old car. Romney bumper sticker. Hahahahahaha. That is all.

20 minutes per nipple. Yes ladies, that's the answer to the question that you wanted to ask me, but didn't.... ;


It begins...
Eating healthy again is pretty cool. Okay, I did put barbecue sauce on the next door neighbor’s cat…
…but I had a salad INSTEAD. Yup. YAY ME!!


I LOVE what Romney said about defending Israel because he ALWAYS sticks to what he says.

How many of you only watch female gymnastics after you find out that the athlete is OVER 18 and turn the channel if they aren't?

ME. THIS. Deal with it!