There is no substitute for REAL strength. Okay, a gun, but that's not fair.

I was weirded out when guys kept saying they hoped Lebron "doesn't wear his headband tonight" until I found out they DIDN'T mean condom...

I must be looking young. A security guard followed me around a store today.
Thanks slightly racist security guard!

"Bet you're sorry that your always faithful ass didn't have the 3 way with her friends now huh?"
- Devil on my shoulder after a bad breakup

Paula Deen quickly puts a beat behind her when she says the N word, gets forgiven and goes platinum. Film at 11!