I love green tea so much I would bang it, and cook it breakfast in the morning and then bang it again.

I'd tear up winning lottery tickets to marry and make babies with Serena Williams. Yup.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian and dating? What...a baby? Why was I not informed of this!?!

I want the women that screamed "Oh yes, work it you sweet n-word! It's yours n-word! Don't ever stop n-word!" to me during sex to apologize.

"But you'd like them if you had banged them in college like I did..."

- Sarah Palin talks to Paula Deen on the phone