I'm not a "Boob" man or a "Butt" man, I'm a "What kind of person is she?" man.
(Saying that crap is going to get me so much boobs and booty)

If the host of "Cheaters" asks you to meet him, don't bother watching the video when you get there. Your spouse was fucking someone.

This hotel doesn't have wifi, but the betamax machine and free edsel parking more than make up for it.

Just looked at an old guy and thought...."I don't want to live THAT long!"

Dear teens in my neighborhood, you can now include ME in your "Can I cut your grass sir?" list.

Yes, I want the key to your heart. But...does it include unlimited access to the "Living room", "Upstairs" and your backdoor? It does? COOL!

*Reads book on teachings of "The Buddha" in public*
(Waits for unwanted religious conversion attempt)

*Puts on hat of favorite sports team*
(Waits for childish jackass to trash talk)

*Exists*
(Waits for people to give a shit)
*People instead, give him shit*
*Damn it, that's not what he meant!*
:)