You don't have to put up with an idiot just because they are related to you.

Anyone calling your home more than 3 times for stupid crap should be taken to Singapore and made to spit on the ground in front of a cop.

*lady gives dog chocolate*
"Whoa, THAT'S BAD for them"
"It's ok, I give him some all the time"
(the next week)
"Where's the dog?"
"Shut up"

Gay people aren't scary. Feel better now dumbasses?

I'm putting "Let him do butt stuff" in my prenup. Yup. "Butt stuff".
Ladies?