Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sunday's WITHOUT football should be left in the attic with Christmas gifts from relatives you don't like and see rarely.

"Hey girl, I want to slide something big & brown, up in where you sit down!" sounds cool in your head, but will get you punched in the face.

ASSets. Tee hee. ASS...ets. ASS.

Grandma's friend was been better at riding grandpa's knee than us, she'd ride 20 minutes and his pants would come off trying to buck her...

It's all fun and games until you get caught getting it on in the backseat of your car by a church group. They paid well for the show though.

Ladies first... if men last.

I don't appreciate you NSA guys writing "BORING" all over my email and text screens!

If you scroll down to the bottom of the screen on most dating sites, there's a "Bang immediately" check box. You didn't know that did you?

I'm all for personal responsibility. And personally I blame that bastard over there for all of my problems.

No Kim K sextape? Screw you Netflix!

In my sales training, we were supposed to overcome 5 objections from a potential customer. In the dating world the 5th objection is a gun.

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