"Quittin’ on yourself is worse than shittin’ on yourself!"

 - S. Anthony Thomas

(That IS motivational! You just don’t know good stuff!)

Molotov cocktails are actually quite tasty. Why do people throw them? Seems like a big waste to me...

No pictures are "Safe for work"...

Passive aggressive people, the "sound disappointed and try to manipulate people" thing doesn't work on me. I've mastered not giving a shit.

Dear criminals, forget banks and start robbing those payday loan places. What jury would convict you?

Ladies, those deodorant chips that you have in your armpits sometimes...stop that please. That stuff tastes funny.

Cats can chill anywhere. Maybe women should start calling dudes "cats".

Women, there is no "inappropriate time" to lick you. Your mom is just jealous.