LIGHTLY salted potato chips. No.

"Stopping slavery had a dramatic impact on this country's economic growth. It must be reinstated! "
 - Antonin Scalia (Probably, in his head)

Women don't actually sit ON your face, they hover OVER your face. STOP...THE...LIES!

**********

NFL Scout: 
"So...do you like GIRLS?"

Player: 
"Actually, I like WOMEN...BUT I think you just told on YOURSELF"
- MY response if I was a football player

Women don't actually sit ON your face, they hover OVER your face. STOP...THE...LIES!

This is a message from my dead grandparents from the south....
Fuck you Antonin Scalia. Fuck you and EVERYONE like you.


I'm starting a "Recycled Last squeeze in the toothpaste tube" business. Yeah, I create opportunities...

Just ate a Snack Pack Pudding, because I'm really 5 years old.

I want to play "22" in casinos because that's what I keep getting. Just kidding, she's 24.