Apparently Romney thinks white guys have a good chance of becoming President. Where'd he get THAT crazy idea? Oh...

If you use "Keep it real" when talking to me, I'm going to kick you in the throat. There is no joke in this post, just a warning.

So, F, marry, kill is HYPOTHETICAL? I am so glad you told me NOW. And so is lady number three.

I'm going to play hard to get and start asking women out with my pants ON. Yeah, on my couch at home...

If you buy a Volvo, they throw in the kids for free. Yup.

Dear terrorists, leave our financial centers alone. If you really want to teach us a lesson, blow up the studios that make reality tv.

I like my "Blind spot notification" old school style. *Honk honk* Watch it ya dumb bastard!