I just saw a woman at the gas station who's bottom looked so good you couldn't convince me that it's not made of chocolate.

I need to make love to a lady to "Gangnam Style". I just want to say "Oppa Gangnam Style!" at the big finish. Yeah, FUTURE good times...

Did you know that it's NOT JUST QB's? Whenever you put your hands under a person's butt, you involuntarily yell "Hut! Hut! Hut!"

Pound for pound, my left man boob is the BEST man boob on my body. (Yeah, I know they're pecs...but "man boob" is funnier)

You see those racist idiots in civil rights films that we ALL think suck? The remake is being shot in congress now, they just don't know it.

When lab rats get out, they are going to just go down the street and whip the ass of EVERYONE wearing makeup or carrying pill bottles.

Racism. Xenophobia. Misogyny. Potatoes. Carrots. Broth. Cream. Seafood. Heat in a big pot, wait a while and you have Congress gumbo.