So, you saw ME blush? Yeah....I think you called the wrong number lady.

Don't give me Bible verse locations, tell me what you want to say instead or I'll tell YOU S. Anthony 3:16. "I ignore obnoxious people!"

You ALL better pray that I never become the President. I have a notoriously low tolerance for bullshit. Can you say bull in a China shop?

Wishing wells only work on Thursdays at 3:25 am.

Are armpit fetishes weird? Asking for my tongue.

I just caressed my own ass gently. I now see why I'm so popular with the ladies

Pound for pound, I'm the best S. Anthony in the world.

Twenty years ago today, the first text was sent. The text? "Twenty years from now, teenagers are going to make this annoying."