Flo: Mel Sharples, kiss my grits!
Mel: I'd rather kiss you tits!
Flo: Oh...okay!
(S. Anthony rewrites TV classics)

Hey, Apple....slow the ihell down with the new product launches already!

Can you hold up a towel with YOUR erection? Can YOU unhook a bra with it? No? LOSER! I win!

Google voice search vs Siri vs Me just knowing shit.