Don't you wish you were rich, famous and powerful enough to treat people how you really want to?

Not me, I do that now.

"Love is a battlefield"
- Pat Benatar song or something said by the worst neighbors ever

When I'm at the urinal, I shake my body and keep my penis still. It doesn't work that way.

I've never gotten food poisoning from junk food.

That's all I'm saying...