There's NO male equivalent of the vibrator, it's not necessary. But... if they create a ball slurping device, I'd sell my car to get it.

I sometimes have fantasies about a threesome with Maddow & DeGeneres. Hey, If I'm awful how would they know?

Today I was the leader of a flash mob. I had everyone do what they would normally do at EXACTLY 12pm. You people didn't even notice. LAME!

Ladies, if I haven't been IN you REGULARLY....I'm not going to Lowe's with you. You have been warned. DON'T ASK!