I'm going to start saying people's names the way Ted Knight said "Monroe" on Too Close for Comfort.

Maybe that's why I'm not getting enough media attention. I've been sending college girls pics of my junk on posterous. My mistake.

Why do I hear the voice of “Mr. Burns” saying “Excellent!” whenever I click “LIKE” on Facebook? That sh!t is weirding me out!

The NHL Finals is still going on? How many goals did Lebron score?