Headline:

Ann Coulter Advocates Shooting Occupy Protesters

MY response to her:

(She's running out of shocking things to say now. In two years she'll be in a 2 girls 1 cup prequel.)

Who put all of this apple juice in my arsenic!?! Frauds!

I have officially fallen in love with women with little asses too. That is all.

Gingrich/Cain 2012. Watch out ladies! If the oval office is rockin' don't come knockin'

My "on my way out" statement is much better than my "exit interview".

TicketMASTER? MASTER? Call me when you're TicketEQUAL! The BLACK man has SPOKEN!

Mr. Cain, it was a Republican that sank you NOT a Democrat. A Republican penis. Look down and you'll see the guilty party.

Wait, you DON'T get a MILF when you order a slice of pizza? Herman Cain IS A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could someone do my thinking for me? I'm sick of critical thinking and wanting the best for myself. Huh? Fox news is on line one? Cool!

Whoever invents boob flavored coffee...will be the worlds FIRST Trillionaire...and MY hero.

‎"What!?! You were SERIOUS with HER!?! We though that you were only OUR hoe!" - The Koch Brothers after finding out about Herman Cain's 13 year affair

It’s funny how you can LOVE a TV show, or even a person… one little change happens, like a time slot change or a move across town and you go “Eh, I’ll get to it or get to him/her”…and NEVER do. Thus my relationship with Criminal Minds and my cousin Jim.

Had sex last night. Apparently I'm still great at it. Also, hookers DO have discount cards. Next time I get a free prostate milking! Yay!

I don't like Facebook's new colonoscopy app. A little intrusive.

I have decided that I'll pee directly on my NEXT woman's butt cheeks ...and just end that "Toilet seat" argument FOREVER! Yeah, me = genius!

I don't have a strong body odor, so to fit in with the rest of you I rub myself against sleeping homeless people. Yeah, THAT'S why...

Thanks for washing my car god.

Don't worry world, I've learned not to expect much....for now.

I want to do the "fingers in my ears la la la I can't hear you" thing as an adult in a serious situation just to see people's reaction.

I just beat up a bunch of people at the return counter of Walmart over their $2.00 waffle makers.

I don't know you but I disagree with you on (insert subject), so you are an (insert childish insult & epithet) (Affirm idiocy loudly)

Forget JOGGING, my memory runs mara....marath...mar...

LINE! Oh, marathons.

I'm teaching a thong only yoga class. Kim K? Well?

*stands by a pig pen holding bread, eggs and cheese* "Your time will come..." *maniacal laughter*

WEB trolls have one inch penises...on their foreheads. THAT'S why they hide like punk asses. Also, you may now openly call them dick heads

I don't want to fight with you, but I'm looking right at "it' and it is NOT beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Stop building "it's" hopes up. "It" still just looks like a rainy Sunday. You're cruel dude.

"Did you have an "affair" with her Mr Cain, and I don't mean a party or gathering"
"You just screwed up my verbal escape hatch... a-hole!"

What's the 15th secret of fight club?
We recruit on black Friday. Tell your grandma...SHE IS IN! I love the way she bit that guard!

“So, ladies…what are your DEAL BREAKERS? (Behavioral or request type)

Butt stuff?

Prenups?

Getting relatives of yours pregnant?”
—      Some guy who isn't me

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....or some fat guy is sneaking into your house thru the chimney to sleep with your wife. Again.

Stop generalizing people. It's not cool....I should know because I'm MUCH better than ALL of YOU. Well, judging by THIS guy here...

I'm sharpening my OUTSIDE doorknob, so there will be a nice surprise for mean spirited people when it hits them in the ass on the way out.

Sam Brownback sucks. *walks to the front door to wait for old high school principal to come out of retirement and chastise me*

I love movies with a truck load of BIG stars in it. They ALWAYS turn out to be GREAT! *holds nose to keep it from extending*

I believe in evolution. The only problem I have with it, is it's propensity to go into reverse whenever "Adults" "Discuss" religion or politics. Shame.

NBA. Christmas Day. Don't have to talk to my family that day. YAY!

Have you ever seen someone get so much airbrushing that you wonder why they even needed to show up in the first place?

My sister and I were trying to decide which one of us was going to buy our uncle's TV. I have it...because I PEPPER SPRAYED THE SHIT OUT OF HER!

Judging by the uniform colors, I think Stanford should change the team name to the “Stanford Grading Pencils”

NEW Euphemism ALERT!!!! If you know someone with 2 good ideas and 60 fucked up ideas...say that they're "Ron Paul-ing"

In the eyes of a ranger, The unsuspected stranger Had better know the truth of wrong from right, 'cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you, ...

Shut up.

You know that person who shows up just to complain, can't find anything after SEVERAL tries...then CREATES something to complain about? THAT. *sigh*

Joey Greico must get laid and laid and laid.

“Ladies, please stop saying “I’ve never done THIS before”. Why?
1) We don’t care
2) We don’t believe you
3) We’ve seen film of you doing THAT online”
 — Dudes

ALL of MY Fridays are BLACK Fridays, what's the big deal? Also, where is MY low priced stuff!?!? RIPOFF!

"Hey, dude, NO ONE has teeth THAT white. I'll bet you'll have jet black hair when you're 80. Stop it" - EVERYONE with eyes

Wake up at 2am to sleep in a tent for the OPPORTUNITY to BUY shit AND AMUSE d-bag store owners exerting short term power? Me? Uh...NO.


I am too MASSIVE to EVER be LESS than anyone or anything. Tell the little voice in your head to say THAT and not the regular negative crap that it always does...and you'll see how TRUE it is by the results in your everyday life.

Also, you'll get more ACTION. Ya dig?

Thanksgiving day parade...of relatives...into my house. Where are the costumed people with ropes when I need them? pull these people out!!

The Packers are 11-0, but I'm 13-0 with your sister.

The market was like a wet t-shirt contest, but instead of water it was turkey drippings and cheese stains and instead of women...dudes.

****

Food $250
Gas driving their asses around $60

Teasing your young relatives for getting WAY too dressed up because their boyfriends/girlfriends are coming over....PRICELESS.

"Coward? ME? I've got balls as big as xy canis majoris!" - A nerd

****

Kohl's® is using Rebbeca Black's "Friday" song.

Shark jumped.

Customer lost.