Sunday, September 7, 2014

The Illuminati hasn't given me a raise in years. Let's see how good the new guy is at sacrificing goats... I mean, what Illuminati?
I just called someone the "N" word, so I'm selling my fantasy football team.

Wait, I have permission...

Never mind.
Old guy: I don't agree with homosexuality

Me: Then don't blow or bang any dudes. Problem solved

Old guy: Hey, I'm no longer homophobic!

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