Saturday, September 27, 2014

George Clooney is getting married today.


That means there are more supermodels available to reject me. Life is good.


I put my pants on one leg at a time. Then I quickly rip them off because they're held together at the sides with Velcro. Yeah.


Plausible deniability < An angry guy with a bat that knows you did it.


It's Official: George Clooney Is Married!

HA! I am NOW...

Bachelor NUMBER ONE!!!!


I'm about to get drunk.

*looks at a picture of my dimples*

Well, I'm gonna need a ride home now. It's not safe for me to drive...

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