I don't care... who famous people... are screwing... I don't care... who famous people... are screwing... I don't care...

Okay?

"If you fall off the horse...get right back up there!"
- People who have a "fall off of large animals" fetish

LOL @people who don't know that politicians see them as disposable.

Dollar Stores... you are the best.

*buys brakes, uses them, realizes too late that it's a candy called "brakes", crashes*

I love telling the religious people that come to my door that I'm Buddhist. They haven't come up with a canned retort for that yet.

This water fits into this bottle AND this cup. They're DIFFERENT shapes! How does that happen!?

*gets sidekicked by the ghost of Bruce Lee*

My cousin's cat is here, It's gonna be pissed when it wakes up with my ass in it's face.

Don't. Hit. People.

I tend to gather information and think for myself so...

...no, I don't want to join your cult/ideology etc.  Also, fuck you.

Politicians shouldn't have their salary reduced every time they lie.

They'd SOON understand the poor better...

All bikes are stationary if you get run over by a car.

I saw the guy at the carwash had some money to the birds from the tree above my parking spot. Yeah... now I know the truth.

IT'S ON NOW!!