Terrorists

Terrorists are trying to get bombs on planes by carrying them up their buttocks....TSA workers already wear rubber gloves ...know what I'm saying. All I'm gonna say from now on is "Helloooooo Amtrak!!!"

Quick thought...

When a relationship is over they say, "end it quickly like you rip it off a band aid." OK, if the relationship is the band aid, what does that sticky crap left on your arm represent? Venereal disease? Emotional baggage? Unplanned pregnancy?

Rectal Thermometers

Why are rectal thermometers even an option? My doctor asked me if I'd prefer it. If my mouth works well enough to answer that question...it shouldn't need to be asked. I'm gonna have to see his medical license again!

Secondhand.....

There is second hand smoke. Now they say, if the people you hang around with are overweight, you have an increased chance of being fat yourself. That's right everybody, It's finally happened...we have discovered....secondhand ass!

Random

That lady that walks up with the roses is annoying. You wanna sell roses? Offer the woman i'm with condoms. (Hint, if she buys condoms...i'm definitely buying roses!)

When someone invites you to a "Black Tie Party"....they want you to wear the rest of the tux too. (Note to self)

Hey Roman Polanski, I guess this (Jail) isn't the "Lifetime Achievement Award" that you expected. But you deserve it.

NOT Our Community

3 charged in student's beating death - Crime & courts- msnbc.com

Source: www.msnbc.msn.com

Three teenagers were charged Monday with beating a 16-year-old to death as he walked home from school, the latest killing in a city school system rife with violence. .

The "people" doing the beating are NOT our community. The young man who was an honor student who came to the aid of a friend in need...that's our community. Unfortunately these kids (Honor Students) only get mentioned when something bad happens to them. We shouldn't honor the best of us with candles and teddy bears after a tragedy. We must honor, protect and nurture them daily.

Random

There is a 10 mile backup on the road less traveled. Damned G.P.S. system!

Don't worry if atlas shrugs, it's ok, he put the world in his new man purse.

Can we give a little electric shock to color commentators who state the obvious? "If he threw that a little farther...that would be a catch" Really? Thanks! (zap). "If they had just scored Touchdowns instead of Field goals...they win this game!" Really?...(Zap)

I think therefore...I could never run for public office.

I just mailed in my cash for gold. I wonder if i'll get extra money for the teeth inside?

Found a breast lump...instead of smacking me, that lady at the train station should have been grateful.