The S. man says...

Dear politicians, if you are in your ad and you're the only one talking... I ASSUME that you approve the message. No need to tell me. Thanks.

"Why do people get stinking drunk? Because they want to forget something specific and because hangovers hurt less that everyday life. Man…do I envy drinkers!"

It finally happened. I officially don't give a fu*k! I was dancing and singing with my little cousin as I took her to school. Because of the bushes along the street, and her only coming up to my navel (She's 6), no one could see her. People could only see a grown man signing and doing "her fairy princess dance"... and were shooting me weird looks....and I didn't give a fu*k. Ahh...feels good.

When I'm famous I'm going to adopt a kid from Africa....Imagine me on the cover of People magazine holding up a little black...oh...It won't have the same visual impact if I do it. I should just get some lady pregnant and SAY that I adopted a kid from Africa....hmm....I need to think this through....

Message to hackers...if you really want to impress people, come up with ways to make the web BETTER. It'll get you laid and paid (Yes, I did that on purpose...shut up!) instead of held down and violated by your cellmate. That is all.

First run movies are 6 bucks at Walmart. If you are still buying bootlegs...you're just being a dick.

Ladies, we have nipples to so.....whoa! I meant licking! Put those clamps away! What is wrong with you? How did you pull them out so fast!?!