Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mr Thomas Speaks...

Asthma needs to go to anger management, maybe some counseling or something... it's always attacking my cousin. He is a bit of an ass though.

Coffee, the gateway drug to me NOT shooting you or kicking your ass.

Do you want to see how your "O" face looks? Eat a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich and drink good coffee in front of a mirror. Or bang ME.

A message from everybody else in the world to all local and national male meteorologists...YOU are NOT funny. Thanks.

Whoa, officer...I know I was driving way past the "speed limit", but it doesn't count since I'm driving backwards, right?

The electric company just turned off my hot neighbors power. Something told me I should have bought spy cams with backup batteries. Damnit!

I don't know how YOU feel about being micromanaged by someone WITHOUT adequate knowledge or skill...but I LOVE IT!!!!

Studies show that women MUST have more sex for health reasons. *whispering* Are they buying this crap? Hey, for more sex I'll try anything!

The double down sandwich! That's how they can plug the BP leak. I mean an artery is just a pipe and you know it clogs those things!

Common and Serena have split? Do you know how awful she would have to be for me to split up with all of that thick chocolate? Neither do I!

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