IKEA., f*ck you & your kindergarten coloring book assembly instructions. If you catch on fire I hope the hose is UNASSEMBLED and from IKEA!
What do you think the over/under is on the percentage of twitter regulars that will wake up with an STD or kidney-less tomorrow morning?
Oprah interviewing J.K. Rowling. Two billionaires. Yes I would. So would you. Don't lie.
I've reached rock bottom...it has cable. It's only BASIC cable? Screw this, I'm going to become successful!
Happy revenge sex night! Huh? New Years? That's a thing? Oh. Well, happy THAT too.