James Cameron must be directing my balls...because they're huge and blue. Ladies?
The Oscars are coming up soon. I'm getting a head start on not giving a crap.
Success is the greatest revenge. Nah, I still say a car fire and getting her sisters pregnant is much much better.
I don't believe in corporal punishment for kids...but if they were secretly recorded dissing the school bully and the tape got leaked...
There is NO SUCH THING as a "Strap on Colonoscopy"
I would sext you all, but you'd better have the new imax iphone.
I'm buying my new girlfriend breast implants. I haven't met her yet...but they were on sale and I like being prepared.