Bras are so expensive, so if any ladies would like me to follow them and hold their boobs up for them...I'm here for you. I live to help.
Remember, don’t judge a book by it’s cover or the contents of a box just because the box is dinged. There just might be something…or someone invaluable inside.
(Full disclosure, I wouldn’t be saying this bullsh!t if I was better looking. I’d just enjoy the perks like the rest of the pretty people.)
I really wish smells would stay with the person that created them. Not the unfortunate passenger in the cab, the other person in the elevator or the guy just checking his hair in the public bathroom mirror. Not fair.
Toilet seat up, seat down....who cares? I pee in the tub. Problem solved....Unless someone is taking an unannounced late night bath....
You know it’s love if you take your date to a restaurant that uses plastic utensils and crazy straws, she goes to the ladies room….and she comes back.
Don't high five any teenage boy who's been in the bathroom for more that 60 seconds. You have been warned.
You've gotten too many hernia checks when every Doctors office has your picture up and a sign that says "Don't feel this man's balls