I was hit on last night by a woman so together and so off of the charts beautiful that I still think it's a really a practical joke...
I can't wait to get married someday. To go from getting laid occasionally to getting laid a little more than occasionally. Lucky bastards!
If I step in dog poop, I should be able to return it to the dog owner...in any way that I see fit.
....Gone fishing...for compliments. How's my hair look?
Can I get a witness!?!... DO NOT yell that anywhere near the Watchtower Society. Just sayin'...
See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have dog piss on your fingers.
As an adult I'm embarrassed at the way people speak to each other. What a wonderful world it would be if politicians were adults too.
I was checking my pockets for my keys and touched my balls by accident...(yes accident shut up!) Can I sue myself for harassment?